End of the semester is always bittersweet, especially spring. One is always glad to let it go; the tiredness increases hourly and rest looks so very sweet.
Of course, it is sad to see the seniors leave. We have gotten to know them so well, love them so much for all they have given us in the past four years, rejoice in the ways they have matured. Their words of thanks at our departmental awards night humbled us all and encouraged us to keep on.
But by finals week the tiredness overwhelms even that sorrow. I only wish it to be over, to have some time to ponder and play and be a wife and mom, read and write for something other than tomorrow’s class, next week’s exam. I feel inadequate, frazzled. Depression hits and I want to succumb. Calling means nothing to me this day.
So glad, so glad, that I am not here alone living my life for whatever purpose I can pretend it has. So glad for the strength He so graciously gives even as I think there is no strength left, His hold on my call and His hold on me to live it whether I will or no.
Jeremiah, when he wearied of the mocking of the people against his prophecies, said, “If I say, ‘I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name, there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot’” (20:9 ESV).
Whatever weariness, whatever discouragement, those who desire to live for Him find His Spirit a burning fire that will not let us continue in silence, that reminds us He is with us, to give us wings to mount up like eagles. Rest will come, but His strength is with me now, and I will wait on Him to receive it from His hand. (Is. 40:31)