For my brother (18 March 1948 – 10
November 2012)
When our parents brought me home from the hospital, Mike –
then four-and-a-half – wanted to take me for a ride in his wagon. On being told I was too little, he
retorted, “Well, what’s she any good for, anyway, if I can’t even play with
her?” Later, when colic kept me
screaming for hours on end, he suggested that they send me back wherever I’d
come from . . .
Four-and-a-half years between Mars and Venus ensured we’d
never be extremely close, but our parents’ sacrificial and unconditional love
ensured that we grew into a tolerant and eventually a genuine affection,
because we always knew that we belonged to a family, a bond that could be distressed and cracked, but never
really broken.
Family put us together for camping trips, Christmas Eve
candlelight services, regular visits to and from grandparents, birthdays, and
Sunday night popcorn during Walt Disney.
We decorated cookies together for Santa’s Cookie Tree, an evergreen
beside our driveway which we made into a community tradition. We went to musicals every summer at the
Swope Park outdoor live theatre; we learned to ice skate together on the
flooded garden in the back yard and to shoot with bows behind the old barn that
served as our garage. We chased
fireflies on summer evenings to put in jars for nightlights and kept a pet
turtle in the front yard under the sassafras tree. I loved curling up on his bedroom carpet to read the stories
in his Boys’ Life magazines while he
read or studied.
The 60s took their toll, and, perhaps inevitably, came the
years of distress when the family structure seemed broken beyond repair. But the foundation laid in those
childhood years held, and, a welder by trade, Mike chose to begin repairing the
cracks, restoring love and laughter.
How grateful I was to know that he was there to help – gladly and not
from mere duty – when our daddy’s health began to decline and I was half the
country away. How glad to know of
Daddy’s delight when his son entered the room, to know that Mother had only to
call and he was on his way. How
refreshing to see his smile again when I was able to visit, to put up again
with “baby sister” and “kiddo.”
How lovely to have his children and their families in our lives now.
And how good to know that, in the end, love is indeed
stronger than death. Missing him
now, we are grateful to have had the years of his life framed in the unity of
family.
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